Pro Tip: How to Make the Perfect Sandwich

November 3, 2016
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Lets take a second to talk about one of mankind's greatest achievements......SANDWICHES! They are my favorite!  Delicious? Of course. Versatile? You betcha! So many combinations, so many flavors, but one stands above all the rest. Check out my tips for making the perfect sandwich.

STEP 1- THE BREAD

The first step, and the absolute most imortant one, is choosing the right bread. Wheat- or some other grainy loaf is perfect if you are having chicken or turkey, while good ole fashioned white bread is still tops for the PB&J. For the PERFECT sandwich though, I suggest a nice warm baguette. Crispy on the outside, chewy on the inside. The perfect delivery vessel for the perfect sandwich.  **sidenote- some of you just asked "what about a tortilla?" and the answer is NO. Thats a wrap and not a sandwich. I will not argue this, and I've already unfollowed you on Twitter for even suggesting it.**

STEP 2- THE MEAT

Quite possibly the most controversial step of them all. You see, there are some people out there, for whatever reason, prefer to abstain from the consuming of sweet delicious animal flesh.  This bums me out, because bacon. But hey, to each their own, and if you are not on team carnivore, please slop some peanut butter or jelly or tofu between your chosen bread type and skip right on to the next step.  For the rest of us, one of the greatest things about the sandwich is that literally any meat is good to go.  For the perfect sandwich though, if you really want to take things to the next level, go for Prosciutto di Parma.  The di Parma is important by the way, because thats where the best stuff comes from.  Its a little more expensive, but worth every penny. Trust me.

STEP 3 - THE CHEESE

Eating a sandwich without cheese is like watching the edited for TV version of Scarface.  Sure, its still a classic, but without the swearing its kind of meh.  Same goes for cheese-less sammys. So underwhelming. if you're going with cured meats like salami or pepperoni, go with havarti or some other light milky cheese, and cleary cheddar for fowl based sandwiches. For the perfect sandwich, though, you want to use fresh mozzarella. 

STEP 4 - THE FIXINS

Time for the fixins (pronounced Feeeeeeeexins, thats important).  The beauty of the sandwich, is basically anything can be used for a proper sandwich topper (rap skills!)  Lettuce, tomato, onion, all fairly standard.  Might I also suggest red peppers if you are eating chicken, and sprouts with turkey is totally bomb.  Thing is, for the perfect sandwich you only actually need 2 fixins.  Crazy right? Well trust me.  So far the perfect sandwich consists of a perfectly baked baguette, prosciutto di Parma, fresh mozzarella, and the only things you should ever add to that is oil & vinegar and some giardiniera. MMMMMMMMM!!!!**some of you might not know what giardiniera is.  Let me bring you up to speed.  Giardiniera is basically a bunch of vegetables cut up really fine combined with jalipeno peppers, and pickled.  Its totally delicious and if you've never had it you should call up your parents right now and chew them out for depriving you of this delicious gift from the Old Gods and the New Gods and the Pickled Veggie Gods.**

STEP 5 - ENJOY!

The best step of them all!  Open mouth, insert sandwich, chew, swallow, make an exaggerated "MMM" sound, and repeat!  Now that I've shared with you the proper procedure for making the perfect sandwich, I want to know how to make yours. Tweet me your recipe at @1077theend, or answer in the comments below. And remember, use the hashtag #sEATle. Buon apetpetito!