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RIP Super Crane

Aug 11th | categories: Awesome, Local

Several years ago, I can't remember how many, I look out the window at our normal, weird view of Capitol Hill and suddenly dominating the skyline, having risen in a single day: the Super Crane. I ran into the other studio and hollered at Bryce, "HAVE YOU SEEN," he cut in "THAT SUPER CRANE?!?!" Man, what a great day. I went home and wrote a short story about it, and today, on the dismantling of the giant red beast, I'd like to share it again. Enjoy.


It's a strange world devoid of predators that city dwellers inhabit. Pavement and asphalt as far as the eye can see. Buildings tower where boulders and arboreals formerly dominated. It seems like things get busier and grow more hectic as the days pass. More people with less availability to wiggle around. Anger grows as the wait time at the traffic signal seems to worsen. Just a year ago it wasn't this bad, was it?

Life begins to pass too rapidly. Can this year really already be more than a third complete? How many years now has this chapter lasted?

It had been 6 months since the skyline changed. What always seemed a pleasant sight became more complicated and industrial with the installation of the crane. Seems odd how neighborhood goers and eyeballs from various high-rises watched as the red monster built itself. Huge steel beams came together until I used it's massive lifting capacity to pull itself up much like the final repetition at the gym where your arms quiver under the weight.

The crane looms over the crest of the hill. It is anything but inconspicuous. From one glance to the next itsposition has changed as if magically during a blink. It's that kind of subtle, cat like movement that gives the crane itspower. It was our ignorance of its ability that allowed the monster to erect itself among us. Faces buried in smart phones and local publications gave it the time to reduce us to cowering terrified victims of the newest predator in town.

NifeCorp, the crane owner, denied the mystery behind that initial fatality - a working accident they claim. With the heights involved few became suspicious. An insurance company responded with a sizable payout for the victim's family and work continued.

Super Crane's first attack lifted a man to the sky before rapidly dropping him back to the earth and his death. NifeCorp failed to release information confirming the cause of death. The employee's demise had been swift. The crane silenced his life before his body ever left the ground. No wonder it happened so silently.

Then it happened again.

The second time the metal monster attacked, the neighborhood ground to a halt. The screams were enough to fill the human subconscious with ammunition capable of turning a pensive moment into a cold sweat. Super Crane, on an arcing turn for material pickup, swooped low and over the area outside of the permit controlled construction zone. The cable became slackened and the sound of rushing steel on steel filled the ears in a frozen moment in time.

The man with his tight, rolled up jeans casually rode his single speed street bike down the main drag. Luckily he wore the obligatory glasses required by the fashion demands of the time. When the crane grabbed his torso and snapped his vertebrae those very glasses fell to the ground, and he would have one fewer sense at play to experience his death.

Rocks were hurled. Cries rang out in anger and fear. Super Crane responded predictably by lashing out again. It grabbed those brave enough to stand up to it. The crane hurled their bodies like a dog shaking its stuffed toy to death.

As the crowd assembled outside of its reach, Super Crane began building its own defense. It became territorial and prepared for the obvious attack the neighborhood planned.

Years later, the crane is dormant. The neighborhood burnt out like the filament of an incandescent light bulb. Everyone knows better than to set foot within Super Crane's reach. Life continues, just not where man kind meets its urban predator.

The End.

In other news, we were recently green-lit for a new sitcom starring a bird and Super Crane to begin in the fall, Crane vs Crane!

:E GregR


RIP Super Crane
| August 11, 2014 at 9:57AM
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| August 11, 2014 at 10:23AM
Crane vs crane vs (Frasier) Crane

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